The Last Word on the “ARs suck balls” debate
Recently, in the comments on Matt Bracken’s essay on the coming rise in temperature, several people made remarks that completely overlooked the validity and subject of the essay to continue the infantile, puerile debates on the supposed failings of the AR platform.
In response, I offered to host one of them in one of my classes, and we would side-by-side, put their chosen weapon and my personal LMT M4 to a torture test. No one has taken me up on the challenge, although “Mountain Rifleman” did spout some nonsense about using hog lard instead of Crisco, and making iron-sighted hits with a BAR out to 1200 yards (I’m well aware it’s been done in the past).
So, to finally put this debate to rest, I’m going to offer this standing challenge. I will wager $500 in silver, AND re-imburse the cost of a training course (any of my open-enrollment courses) to ANYONE who is willing to accept this challenge, AND can successfully pull it off, over the course of the class:
1) Dis-assemble and thoroughly clean your weapon.
2) Re-assemble the weapon, and lube it with Crisco, cooking oil, or any other readily accessible, non-firearm intended lubricant.
3) Toss the weapon into a prepared mud puddle, with the bolt locked to the rear, and step on it with both feet, to ensure that it is thoroughly covered in mud and water.
4) Clear the weapon ONCE (solely to ensure there are no barrel obstructions).
5) Run the weapon the rest of the weekend, lubing with the previously selected lubricant from step 2 above, no more than once per day.
6) At the end of the class, compete against me in a head-to-head “shoot-off” to a set course of fire on targets from 50-500 meters, with a time limit.
In order to qualify as a “win” you have to have fewer per capita (I don’t run my gun as frequently in classes as participants do, but when I do run it, I put far more rounds downrange than they do) malfunctions than I do, and you have to be able to score higher on the final CoF than I do.
If you are not willing to accept this challenge, and demonstrably prove the “superiority” of whatever weapon you select, then I will not allow future posts on my blog that are caliber or platform debates.
(I’m so going to end up regretting this challenge. Apparently it has gone fucking viral on the interwebz. That’s cool. To clarify a couple things though….
1) The $500 in silver is NOT $500 face value. It’s $500 actual value. Fuck people, I’m not independently wealthy.
2) The test is SIDE-by-SIDE. My LMT gets the same treatment from steps 1-6 above. Apparently, some people thought I was such as an asshole that I wanted them to stomp their rifle into the mud, while I stood by gleefully, and giggled like a little girl).
Somewhere in the mountains
Postscript: I’ll even run strictly USGI aluminum mags.
For further clarification. My LMT is not a factory-built gun. I built it, using all LMT mil-spec parts. No super-duper, cool-guy triggers, etc….and it is a direct-impingement gas system gun.