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From the Library

October 30, 2019

Today’s book is one I read two decades ago (or close to it), and made my wife read two weeks after we started dating. It’s arguably one of the most important books published in my lifetime, when it comes to personal protection. I’m not sure how I’ve never reviewed it for this blog, but one of our guys texted me a couple weeks ago, and insisted I needed to, post-haste.

The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker

Let me preface this by pointing out that, while I don’t know him personally, I suspect DeBecker is a hypocritical piece of shit. I suspect that, because he’s made a veritable fortune by providing armed security to celebrities, but he’s opposed to private gun ownership.

That having been said, while I don’t “understand” it, I get his reason (you’ll have to read the book).

All of that aside, this is the single best book out there, that I know of, to get women to pay the fuck attention to what’s going on around them, and to get them to pay attention to their gut instinct about shady situations, instead of rationalizing them. It’s equally true for men, of course.

My daughters will be required to read this, and write a report on it, before they are allowed to date.

In essence, it focuses on the physiology of WHY we have “bad feelings” or “gut instincts” about people and situations, and explains not just why we have them, but why we should trust them, and heed them.

If you haven’t read this, go get a copy, right now, and read it. If you have read it, and haven’t made your spouse and/or children (of appropriate age) read it, shame on you.

DeBecker not only explains the whats and whys, but he provides real world examples of both successes and failures, based on case studies from his clients, both celebrity and otherwise.

If you’re opposed to spending money on a book by an author who is decidedly anti-gun, I can understand and appreciate that. So, don’t give him any money. I’ve NEVER failed to find copies of this book at used bookstores and Goodwill. Go to your local Goodwill or used bookstore, and find a copy there. But seriously….read the fucking book.

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  1. Michael Ryan permalink

    Get a copy from the public library.

  2. Rick Stanton permalink

    Yes it’s a great book for women and men. Especially for women who think that acting in their own self interest is bad because they don’t want a stranger to think they’re a bitch.

    A good follow up book for men is “left of bang” that takes the situational awareness up a notch.

  3. T Erickson permalink

    Yes, trust your instincts, those God-given things that make the hairs on your neck stand up. Instead of being too kind to tell an asshole No, most folks will go along with those ploys. Come up with a rehearsed excuse ASAP, and practice it; “No thanks, I’ve got a proctology exam to get to and I cannot wait to get THERE.” These CRIMINALS depend on us being too nice, until it is too late to escape, they are called Predators for a reason. Thank You for the referral.

  4. Boat Guy permalink

    “Read the fucking book” aye. On it
    It sounds familiar but if I read it t’was long ago.

  5. LargeMarge permalink

    About a decade ago, I found stacks of TGOF at DollarStore in Gridley California.
    Everybody got a copy for xmez.

    Later, I discovered deB is a favorite of billionaire televisionprogramming actress Oprah Winfrey.
    That, I could do without.

  6. TFA303 permalink

    Along the same lines:
    Creepology: Self-defense for your social life.

    This is a taxonomy of guys who creep on women, tactical analysis of how they operate, and tactics for women to to deal with people that they can’t shoot or pepper-spray. Remarkably pragmatic and non-ideological. I bought copies for both daughters.

  7. Jdawg permalink

    I tried.

    I just couldn’t stand the author’s writing style. I even check out other sections of the book to see if things improved.

    Just couldn’t do it. (I know this reflects on my own limitations.)

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